Women, work and vows

by Ravia Gupta

THEY make me work, they make me slog, they make me learn, they make me relearn; together we both make our lives difficult. My students always find new challenges for me each day!
It was yet another attempt to have a better understanding of the “You Live Only Once Generation”. First I laughed, laughed out loudly, thinking it was too funny. Then I thought what to answer when they asked me, “Is getting married easier than going to work? Whose decision should it be? Whether or not a woman should work post-marriage? Who decides what career she must opt? Besides, why is it that husbands who encourage their wives to work or have a career in the first place, then turn back and complain when she starts enjoying what she does? Suddenly, the fun was over and soon as I started explaining them that getting married and staying home was much more difficult than going to work. Not that my marriage is too old or troubling me, but if you want to have a good marriage and a stable home, it's never easy, I told them, from the heart, as I offered them the home-made nutties prepared by my mother-in-law. Considering the pressures that one deals with these days, especially the ones that come from within, having a solid work life probably makes your relationships stronger and better, and even at home you respect the little time that you get and want to make the best of it with your loved ones. But to see marriage as an escape route from personal responsibility is like “seeing a three-ring-circus and thinking it'd be a great place to sleep for a while.” From a very young age, I was never comfortable asking anybody for favours, monetarily or otherwise, to foot my bills when out with friends, or even to buy my clothes, etc. I enjoyed the little fun that my pocket money savings used to bring, the scholarships which I was genuinely entitled to but never got, the stipend savings, salary savings and then the blast spending with my hard earned money. I worked; it worked, and will keep on working. I respect work and working women, despite the pressures that one goes through for the simple reason that it keeps one psychologically and emotionally strong and sometimes one can oversee the pay packet before one jumps the gun and decides not to work and give up altogether. I also worry about those women who conveniently decide not to come out of their comfort level and convince themselves that by marrying a rich guy all their worries would be taken care of. They often forget that it’s not so easy to please a partner.

Source: http://www.tribuneindia.com/2013/20130305/edit.htm#5