I write because I feel!!

Love—centre of the universe. Don’t really know if I am right in saying that love is the centre of the universe or is it just that my world revolves around love. More complex and confuse you may get if you try to “understand” it and more simple it may become if you just “feel” it!!! As they say “There are three great things in the world--The first is for you to love someone. The second is for someone to love you back and the third greatest thing is for the first and the second thing to happen simultaneously.” And now imagine if you had all this in place and yet your love failed to take off?? Blame yourself or blame it on your destiny, certain things are just not so simple and trust me can turn out to be a huge set back for those who believe in something as simple and pure as love and yet fail to experience it for long. This is a true story of a girl who believed a lot in love and almost looked for love in every relationship in her life, be it with her mom and dad, brothers or then w...

What a pleasant surprise it is to get a “wake-up” call from an old friend, baring the long distance, finding time from busy schedules, forgetting about initiatives, and above all keeping you in mind and heart even while watching a movie is commendable. Hats-off to a dear friend, who is in Bangalore for “waking me up” from the deep slumber. It was a pleasant morning on the weekend, when almost the world around me was up and alive, but I was still dreaming….dreaming about the past few months when I had almost planned the rest of my near future, thinking about the whys and hows, having pleasure in feeling almost accomplished, I just didn’t want to get up to face the reality, which was no way near to my dream…pat I get a call, but fast asleep enjoying a virtual life in my dream I was in two minds to answer or not to answer the call. Thinking that the call must be to wish me New Year, to which I could always call back later, I wanted to dream on a bit more, but then since it was Soni, I ...

I am walking all alone, trying to figure out where I belong…I often find myself in places and situations where I don’t belong!!! One such place in Delhi called the “Blues” where everyone else was perfectly meant to be and everyone else had a reason to laugh was killing me inside…I often turned around to find at least one person who wasn’t trying to sip the sorrows with a fake smile, at least one person who was as gloomy as me and as true as me to accept that life is too complicated to pretend!!!! At every table people were busy laughing, singing, and then drowning themselves into a pool of sorrows…I was searching for a face who was real and happy, I could find everything there-- the joy, the care, the friendship, the relationship, the bond, the talent, perhaps all efforts were made to perfection…everything was so perfectly made up that even the real would start questioning its existence??? I was wondering if they all were forcing themselves to be happy for the amount of money they wer...

Sweet is this Italian phrase and even sweeter is the feel of it. All this while I was diving deep into the feeling of “doing nothing” almost nothing at all…no writing, no reading, no cooking, no grooming, no cribbing, no planning, no laughing, no caring, and no eating, but as they say all good things have a short lifespan, this one too died before its time… A few more haps and mishaps in my life changed my outlook towards life and I completely shunned myself out of life. A big “NO” to almost everything around became my favourite word. But what the hell this phase of self-denial too didn’t last for long and now I am back again to where I was. Now when I think of the past few months, I feel more at peace may be because in times of “Yes I can”, “Just Do it” etc I chose a “NO” for everything and guess what was lucky to be in times like today that even my “NO to everything” couldn’t survive for too long. I immensely enjoyed this denial phase of “a plain NO”, cold it may sound to you and se...

Home-maker, a cooker, baker or may be a sandwich-maker for some. And for many others a care-giver, who opts to stay at home to bring together the roots of the family and also take care that these roots grow deeper and deeper. Well, home-maker may just be a name, and like they say what’s in the name? But who would have thought that with changing times, when people are becoming more sophisticated, there is no end to learning and education is touching a new high, there are a few out of this well-educated elite class, who would coin terms like “ home-bird ” or even worst “ home-lizard ” as a synonymous for “home-maker”. Ahh I just hope and keep my fingers crossed and pray that these new “creative terms” hopefully do not enter into my mum’s ears or else she is sure to sulk. Sulk the pain and agony of devoting her whole life to the family thinking that one day her worth will be well understood or may be not. She is indeed very sure of the choices that she makes for herself rather for her ...

“Jennie” was the name of my first chubby tall doll. Dressed in red, with golden curly hair and deep blue eyes, my doll never formed any opinion about me and just followed my heart. It was perhaps the one best thing ever happened. I simply loved spending hours with the “speechless beauty” during my childhood. Today, when I see the world around, I understand why the “speechless beauties” are admired by one and all and some “lucky ones” even get a chance to be kept preserved in museums. Almost every one likes to be surrounded by such “speechless beauties”, who don’t think, nor feel anything and most importantly never complain? “Dolls have been around since the dawn of human civilisation, and have been fashioned from a vast array of materials, ranging from stone, clay, wood, bone, cloth and paper, to porcelain, china, rubber and plastic. While dolls have traditionally been toys for children, they are also collected by adults, for their nostalgic value, beauty, historical importance or ...

White-striped tiger cub "Majestic" makes a face at Siegfried & Roy's Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat at the Mirage hotel-casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, August 16, 2010 <a href="http://www.pax.com/free-counters.html"><img src="http://counter.pax.com/counter/image?counter=ctr-fiyciuvs4h&noscript=1" alt="Free Hit Counter" border="0" /></a>

A German Shepherd dog leaps into air to bite a water balloon thrown her way while playing on a hot summer day in Encinitas, California, August 16, 2010.

“I wanna know what you're thinking. There are some things you can't hide. I wanna know what you're feeling. Tell me what's on you mind. Here I am in silence, looking round without a clue. I find myself along again. All alone with you. I can see behind your eyes, the things that i don't know. If you hide away from me, how can our love grow? I wanna know what you're thinking. There are some things you can't hide. I wanna know what you're feeling. Tell me what's on your mind.” So whats on your mind?? Is it that difficult these days for the world to know “whats on your mind”….mostly in one line or just a few words (own, or lifted) reflecting your emotions is quite a norm these days on social networking sites. Feeling low, had a fight with husband or boy friend, tried a new recipe, ventured out a new place, watched a movie etc anything and everything finds a way to be there on the public forum, so now every one knows about every one what they did or fel...

And some cry in between... Have you found or hunting your way through or you thought that you almost got your “prince charming”, well what makes you believe that even when you would meet your “MR RIGHT” or “ MR PERFECT ”…..things would move on easily from then now, trust me it’s no hunky-dory and who says falling in love is easy, forgetting about the pains and torture involved in convincing the supposedly “other half” that you are more than sure and know about the “eternal connection” between the two of you, phew and after all that proving of your love, I would still want to know from those who believe that falling in love is easy?? Falling in love is certainly not easy and equally or rather even more painful is to come out of it…..and do you even want to imagine a state in between?? Scary is the thought, and worse is the phase when you don’t know whether you are in love or out of it…but then people around would ask you how you feel or even cliché to close your eyes and try to figur...

“Uh-huh, life's like this, that's the way it is- COMPLICATED.” How many times can you fall in love with one person over and over again despite all odds and despite growing old apart? Well, many would agree and say that the “spark” despite separation, tears and hurt remains and grows only deeper with time, but it certainly is “complicated” to decide whether to be with someone or not to be with someone, especially once a separation “seal” put on a relationship seals it all. No doubt, it becomes rather difficult not to fall for the person, with whom you fell in love first and then got married later, perhaps even more difficult to be in “control of emotions” especially once the “flesh of your passion” (baby) is out and kicking. “It’s complicated” (movie 2009) is a story of Jane (Meryl Streep), who is a self-reliant divorce and owns a successful bakery in Santa Barbara, California. After ten years of separation and three grown children, she finally achieves a good relationship...

Calling up mom, especially when away from home, is so much fun and without failure, each time you call her up, you end up feeling so much "special”, being loved and cared for…Thank God life gets going when mama is on the roll!!! Today, when I called up mama in the morning to tell her that undoubtedly she is the Queen Of My Heart and wished her “Happy Women’s Day”…she first smiled (like she already read my mind) and then very softly asked me an “innocent” question…What do we do on Women's Day? I was quiet for a while, not knowing what exactly to say, but then some how collected myself and said: “We wish all the known and unknown women for being so special and just enjoy the spirit of the day”…and so fast I was done with the “seemingly easy question”, she smiled yet again as though giving me another chance to think? The conversation ended on the phone and now my mind started the “talking”. I started imagining (like I always do), a woman who believes she is good, a woman wh...

My name is not Khan and I am not a Muslim, but I just fell in love with the movie not because it has Shah-Rukh-Khan, simply because it is beyond being a Khan or a Muslim.

Not many would agree when I say I simply “love cooking”. In times of junk and processed foods it is often considered “madness” to sweat it out in the kitchen. But my love for cooking is growing deeper and meaning full these days and now I am very certain that "Cooking and falling in love are both very seductive processes. One has to let lose a little to experiment, to feel things and for sure to try things that one would not really try otherwise.” “Cooking” and “love” can both be hot and steamy affairs that not only require a little training, but also lots of effort. I wonder how can one who loves to eat, which most us do, can resist the temptation of not to try out those mouthwatering, lip-smacking goodies and celebratory meals that bind families and friends. Food has always been the way to explore other cultures and most importantly the best part of any travel. Bard, an American journalist and historian, fell in love with a Frenchman during a trip to Paris, married him and moved...

“ Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi Walla ye dhadkan bhadne lagi hai Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji ” Well writing a blog on a song…how trivial can one get, but how amazingly this triviality has been put in such beautiful Urdu dialect that I just can’t stop myself to say and agree with “ Dil to bachcha hai ji ” … Sometimes its better not to write too much and just flow with others’ thoughts, never enjoyed the depth and pain of “helplessness” as easily ever before…

Fresh are those childhood memories and I can still picture my classmate’s father (an uprooted Kashmiri) playing with him on my school playground. Every afternoon, during lunch break, he would come to the school to enjoy lunch with his son, would go through his notebooks, play with him and both father-son would be in a different world, talking a language (Kashmiri) which most of us didn’t understand in the plains (Jammu) in the early 90’s. Our fathers grew up in a different time, when a man was expected to show little or no emotion. Their bonding was admirable and like my classmate, even I used to wait to see a perfect father-son or rather an older and a younger friend, playing together with no inhibitions, sharing lunch and then those endless talks, as though they were running against time to finish all their talking. Lesser did my classmate know that one day when he would enter into his dad’s shoes to share much beyond his innocent talks, someone known would kill him. So small is this...

I often tried not to trust those oceanic deep twinkling eyes, For they always speak a language not matching with their words; Often fell for those true eyes, Just too pure and too honest in aught to disguise the sweet soul shining through them; The spark in those eyes just told me every thing that words otherwise would not have been able to express… How foolish I was to fall for those seemingly genuine eyes… And even tried to create a road from the eye to the heart, which I thought would not go through the intellect… How could those soulful eyes leave me alone and betray me…. And now I feel it would have been better to trust my ears than to trust those deceptive eyes???

So do you know which generation you belong to, whether Gen X or Y or are you still in a fix?? This thought passed my mind while watching “Love Aaj Kal”. I always thought “Love” a few years ago was selfless and admirable and thought, if at all, I would fall in love, it would be of that era when love was not considered a “stupidity” and most importantly was not a “calculative affair”. Finding the “right guy” that “clicked”, whom one sees and the bells start ringing in ears is considered bogus these days. Reality hits me hard every day when people of both generations (X and Y) tell me that one has to be “real” and often tell me that “bells ringing” in this time and age is a bit too much to expect. People I know of Gen X think that its “childish” and “immature”, and feel that one has to change with time. My own peer group feels that to live in this era and then expect things of yester years is “unreal”. But why can’t we have best of both worlds? I asked this to a councellor aunt and...

Their desires, hates, and concerns have been silenced… Welcome to their world of “dark chronicles of broken heart…” Just before you pity them for what they are and decide to teach them how to be real, practical and less selfish…think again!!! They are the chosen ones to bring life into this world, love flows in every drop of their blood, for most of them it’s “U” that comes first then “I”. So what if with changing times their role seems to be reversed, as they have decided to step out and be there with you (men), for you, to match your steps, to prove to you, or to prove to themselves that they are special … Women….perhaps the most lovable creations of God were and still are craving for love, protection, being provided for, and are seeking security. Their feeling of insecurity is so strong that they are convinced that it is also objective truth. A woman's great need is to fill up that emptiness. Sadly she thinks that a man will fill it, which is only partly true. ...